The Fiction Affair

Does anyone else get the urge to become great only to realize that you're way too lazy to take over the world? Me neither.

iwishihadafather:

thatcarlymay:

iwishihadafather:

"It’s a metaphor," the terrorist tells the FBI, "You put the bomb in the building but don’t blow it up."

Of all the shitty metaphor jokes, this is the shittiest.

"It’s a metaphor," I said to the annoying white girl, "I act like I care about your opinion but I actually don’t."

(via firstmatehannah)